Forgiveness.

Forgiveness. It’s the ultimate act of self care.

When you inevitably fall down, (it’s part of living, growing) who’s going to show up for the moment you fall?

What will the experience be?

Will you be berated? Will you be shamed?

Which voice is going to take over the narrative of what is happening?

It’s facing that voice- the voice that pushes to be better, do better, grow, evolve- and taking control of the conversation around all of that, and landing in love.

And landing in letting go.

And in forgiving ourselves when we don’t live up to expectations. (And by the way, whose expectations?? Our own. Are they are own? Whose are they? Something to consider.)

Expectations, goals, intentions- they are malleable. They change as we move forward.

We walk a path that seems to be going one way, and then we are redirected. Is that a failure? Or is that moving with life rather than against it. 

Also, it’s about seeing the bigger picture.

Failure moves us forward. We learn, we grow.

We learn to take chances. Falling down teaches us.

It’s about being able to pick yourself up, learn from mistakes, try again or redirect and keep going. 

Failing is necessary. In order to grow there will be growing pains.

You cannot grow and evolve without discomfort. By avoiding discomfort- you stay stuck.

By avoiding those falls, you stay the same. You miss out on growth. 

I wonder if we can lean into so-called failure. Embrace it. Maybe even celebrate it. Whoa.

What’s the feeling when you experience a perceived failure?

Locate it in your body. Where is it exactly?

What’s it feel like? What are words that come to mind?

Is it possible to bring compassion to that place, to those feelings?

Can you connect to the wisest, most centered part of yourself- the one who would encourage a son or daughter, spouse, friend with unconditional love and understanding and bring that wisdom to the you who needs you the most right now? 

Who can show up, pick you up and show unconditional love, forgiveness and understanding and urge you to keep going?

Which part of you can you grow right now to be the person you would expect a loving parent, friend, spouse to show that kind of love and encouragement?

When feeling discomfort, know that it means there is growing involved.

A deeper level of understanding is about to be revealed.

Maybe curiosity around the discomfort is warranted. Rather than avoiding the discomfort, or numbing the discomfort, or blaming the discomfort, hating, shaming, berating.…..instead ask questions.

Be inquisitive. Don’t avoid. Dig. Explore. Investigate. Be loving. Get curious.

Maybe forgiveness is about forgiving that voice that pushes us to be better and ends up bullying.

It’s not a bad voice. It’s just doing its thing.

Sometimes it’s the only voice we hear in our heads.

It’s focused on self preservation.

It has gifts and is useful. But the thing that voice doesn’t know, is that pushing through negative reinforcement limits our growth.

It limits us from stepping into the fullness of who we are really meant to be. It’s up to us to regulate that voice.

It’s up to us to forgive the voice and take control.

Forgive.

Unconditionally.

Yourself. 

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