Lessons from my marriage

In 2014 my husband and I had a decision to make.

 

 

Stay in NYC or move somewhere else.

 

 

The thing was, we had just moved back to the city a year earlier with our 1 year old son to see how that would work out.

 

 

It didn’t. 😅

 

 

We realized it wasn’t for us.

 

 

Our vision for our life had shifted.

 

 

We didn’t know until we knew.

 

 

Our vision had shifted, however, it still wasn’t clear.

 

 

We just knew New York City wasn’t it anymore.

 

 

The question became, where then?

 

 

With the lease renewing soon we had to make a decision.

 

 

We started taking road-trips out of the city, up to Massachusetts, to upstate NY.

 

 

Eventually we settled on upstate NY.

 

 

What was it about upstate?

 

 

A feeling.

 

 

Not the usual way someone moves to a new town. Lol

 

 

Last week my husband and I celebrated 18 years of marriage.

 

 

What an amazing ride it’s been.

 

 

There are many things that I cherish about our relationship:

 

 

The love, the mutual respect, our partnership.

 

 

Our faith in one another.

 

 

Our faith in following our instincts.

 

 

And don’t forget the laughter, the play, the silliness.

 

 

Is it always easy? Of course not.

 

 

But our ability to laugh together is something I cherish and hold dear to my heart.

 

 

Not taking everything so seriously is helpful.

 

 

In reflecting on 18 years of marriage, I’ve come to realize that the lessons I’ve learned in my relationship with my husband have been the very same ones that have shaped and freed my art. 

 

 

The more I can laugh, can play, can be silly, the more I am in the flow.

 

 

The more I listen inwardly, the more I seek my answers from within to be guided, the more I create from the inside out, the closer I get to my truth as a singer.

 

 

Over the years, I’ve learned to trust my gut, to listen to that quiet inner voice that often knows what’s best, even when my logical mind is uncertain. 

 

 

The trust, the playfulness, the ability to listen to my instincts—these are not just the foundations of our marriage, they were also the key ingredients to unlocking my voice.

 

 

When I apply these lessons to my art this is what it looks like:

 

 

→ I give my voice what it needs in the moment, not what I think I “should” do as a warmup, but what I intuitively feel.

 

 

→ It means discovering songs that are in alignment with my artistic expressions.

 

 

→ It means saying no to certain projects that felt out of alignment and yes to ones that were a full body YES.

 

 

→ It means honoring MY unique gifts and celebrate my sound rather than trying to sound like someone else.

 

 

→ It means learning how to be my own best friend when I practice, bring in playfulness and laugh at my blunders.

 

 

→ And It means making up silly songs in the car with my husband and son on long road trips. 😂

 

 

So yeah, we ended up in upstate New York, not knowing a single soul.

 

 

The path ahead was murky with LOTS of unknowns.

 

 

I pivoted in my career and started adjuncting at a local college and eventually found my way to private coaching.

 

 

We found our community and built a life in this magical place.

 

 

As I celebrate this milestone in my marriage and reflect upon the qualities I cherish most in life, my wish for you is this:

 

 

No matter where you are at in your singing journey, remember to take those risks, laugh at yourself, and trust the journey as much as possible. 

 

 

The more you can embrace these elements, the closer you will get to discovering your “true” voice—one that’s not bound by fear or perfection, but one that’s free, joyful, and fully you.