Singing in front of others
Jun 11, 2024“I wish singing in front of others could feel as good as when I’m by myself.”
I hear this a lot from students.
Who can relate?
You practice, you work on your song, but when you get in front of another person, you feel off.
You get nervous. It feels different. Not settled.
It doesn’t feel as good as when you felt safe by yourself, free from others’ “judgements.”
It can be very frustrating to say the least and also very discouraging.
Perhaps your goal is to sing something in front of others and experience freedom in your voice and body without feeling highjacked by nerves.
What can we do about this very annoying phenomenon, this disconnect between feeling good singing alone versus feeling off when singing in front of others?
First off, I just want to say, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Most singers have and do go through this.
A lot.
Especially if you are performing a piece that feels new.
It’s the “newness” that has the potential to add to the fear.
So, the most effective way to assume more control over how you may feel when that time comes is to rehearse the heck out of it.
And while you’re at it, practice doing it *in front* of someone else.
It’s obvious, but overlooked.
I think there is an assumption that rehearsing something a lot, and also in front of someone is over kill.
The times I’ve felt most relaxed singing in front of others were when I sang pieces I knew inside and out, had done frequently, and felt extremely comfortable with.
Recruit your husband, partner, your friend, a family member….and go for it.
Alright, so we don’t always have the luxury to break in a new song as much as we would like, so then in those instances we need tools in our tool belt to deal with the nerves.
(And these are tools to do in addition to rehearsing.)
The first thing that happens when we get a little nervous is our breathing becomes shallow.
Actively deepen and slow down your breathing when you start to feel this way.
Take slow, deep breaths.
And when you go to sing, place your attention on the quality of the breaths you are taking. Go for relaxed, low (and when you can) slow breaths.
Another trick to bring you back into your body in those moments of fight or flight is to gently rub two fingers together and try to feel ALL the ridges in your fingertips. Place your full awareness into feeling all those ridges.
And of course, I try to, as much as I can before singing in front of others, get centered beforehand. Right before I perform I find a quiet place and close my eyes and focus on my breathing or do a centering meditation.
In situations where the stakes don’t feel as high, for instance singing for just one other person, do the simple practice of getting centered beforehand and see if that helps.
We can’t always control how we feel in these situations, but at least we can do what we can to feel most at ease.
It takes time.
It takes doing it.
It takes a lot of self love.
